What The 2024 GOP Presidential Canidates Would Wear to NYFW

By: Emma Sikes

New York Fashion week was originally created by publicist Elenor Lambert in 1943, as a way to showcase American fashion when French fashion was inaccessible during World War II. Now, it’s a chance for sought after brands to dress social media influencers in exchange for a Tik Tok and an Insta story #bringbackbartering. We used to go to war and now we make short videos reviewing the vibes of certain places. I’m #kidding, war is bad and Day In The Life Videos are good! #balance

Another timely event that is rapidly approaching is the 2024 Republican Primary Debate, scheduled for September 27th in California. Its origin story doesn’t involve a woman, so I won’t go into that. But, what I will do is combine the two topics in a way that will be fun, educational, and stylish! So here is: what I think the 2024 GOP Republican Primary Debate Candidates (the important ones) would wear to New York Fashion Week (In this dystopian universe Republicans would be invited and be stomping the runway).

First up is DJT (Donald J (DON’T MAKE ME SAY IT, YOU KNOW)), who would be wearing his usual ill fitting suit but last minute he would decide to spice it up with a tie that his buddy Rudy Giuliani lent to him that says “I Heart NY” on it. That’s the truth, DJT has always been a Big Apple guy, it's where he was born, raised, indicted, declared bankruptcy, it’s his concrete jungle where dreams are made of. He will be attending the Puppets and Puppets show, purely because his team refuses to do any research and DJ thought it would be a fashion puppet show. On the contrary, it is a super inclusive and campy brand that sells cool bags with cookies and eggs on them. There is an amazing bag that DJT would no doubt purchase (because who wouldn’t) it’s a plain black bag but the handle is a banana.

https://puppetsandpuppets.com/collections/bags/products/leather-banana-hobo

Next, is Ronny D (Ron Desantis) as a Florida boy Ron is gonna feel like a fish out of water in the big city, like all my pisces girlies he has a hard time functioning if he’s not within 5 miles of an ocean. His style choice is gonna reflect his Florida man energy and overall wet napkin personality. I see Senator Desantis in capri slacks, it’s bold but not quite as bold as his shoe choice (the true highlight of the ensemble) he’s bringing back his iconic white rain boots. For the top Ron is finally listening to his team on this one, “be more approachable, less robotic”, “Be real, Ron” and rocking the classic everyman’s goto, a Rolling Stones graphic tee. He will be attending the Collina Strada show; he was invited out of spite (obvi). At the Collina Strada show the models who strutted the runway plastered on painful looking smiles, when asked why, creative director Hillary Taymour said “As we grin and bear the excruciating present, in which the world burns and reproductive, trans, and general human rights are under threat, we summon the strength of radical softness.” As Ronald McDonsantis (idk just trying out new nicknames) does not align with any of the brands beliefs he leaves empty handed and walks hat in hand back to the wet garbage town that is Florida. The hat in question is of course a bedazzled MAGA hat.

Nikki Haley will be fishing her Lilly Pulitzer romper out of the back of her closet and against her better judgment pairing it with her favorite “kick around shoes”, her Golden Gooses. She will go for a half up half down hairdo, and hello, shock of the season she’ll be bringing back a bubble necklace (red of course!) with her usual makeup glam (CC cream, mascara, and a dab of dark red lipstick). Governor Haley will not be attending any fashion shows because the bouncer at every event saw her Lilly P and bubble necklace fantasy and swiftly turned her away. Rumor is Tory Burch saw Nikki on the street and threw a banana peel in front of her and yelled “Stop RePEELing legislation that protects women's rights!” You go Tory, speak your mind!

Lastly, we’ve got Vivek Ramaswamy. He’s the youngest GOP candidate in the field and at 38, he still stands the chance of being almost in-the-know about what’s hot in the fashion world right now. He of course fails to meet our expectations choosing to wear a custom, homemade t-shirt. It’s an oversized white shirt with the words, “Not Woke” written in black Sharpie. As he is known for being anti-woke, he literally wrote the (a) book on it. He wants to hit home with the only thing he is known for. He probably has a pair of “Hey Dudes” paired with this fit. It’s just a guess, most 30 year olds I know love the butt-ugly things, and he also seems like a boat guy. Vivek is actually not wearing any pants because like most 30 year olds, he hates leaving his house, so he’s attending this event on zoom. Hey, at least he #didthedamnthing #roseallday