By: Emma Sikes
Artwork by: Morgan Epps
Max and Ruby. Unless you have insane, children show-watching roommates like me, you probably haven’t thought about it since you were little. But, unfortunately for me, it’s a thing we frequently do and once I heard that theme song and saw that Comic Sans font, all of it came flooding back. Watching this show with my younger brother, being told “You should be more like Ruby, she loves her brother… all the time”. Um, yeah because she has full-fucking custody of his rabbit ass. There’s no rabbit mommy or daddy and Ruby is SEVEN (not sure about the translation to bunny years- defo still not an appropriate age to be left alone with a 3 year old (Max)). She is just trying to do her damn best; she’s got goals too. But, oh no, 1- word-Max needs to learn not to drop ice cream into the bath that he’s currently SITTING in 3 times (yes, 3). That motherfucker knows how to find the sherbert in their (somehow stocked- when did Ruby have time to grocery shop?) fridge, but doesn’t know it can’t “float”?! I call bullshit. Ruby is a saint, and we don’t give her nearly enough credit for dropping whatever geeky-ass activity she’s doing to undo the mess Max has created. Some fan theories are that Max is autistic and Ruby has OCD, but I highly doubt we were tackling topics like that in 2002 children’s TV. The fact that there are fan theories at all is frightening in itself, but since someone took the time to think it up, I’ll tell you what they came up with. People speculate as to how Max and Ruby’s parents died. A favorite theory of mine is that Ruby killed her parents in a “OCD rage” and Max had to watch, and that’s the reason why he’s almost mute. Another fun theory (probably more plausible) is that Max has some type of head trauma he sustained in the car accident that killed his mom and dad and Ruby is left to care for him. The car accident theory would explain his fascination with toy ambulances and police cars; it reminds him of that traumatic day when his bunny parents were killed in their bunny car by a drunk squirrel (wasn’t insured either, figures). In conclusion, Ruby deserved better than to be described as “seldom-patient, and sometimes, annoyingly-restrictive” on Wikipedia. She is the 1950’s matriarch we need and DESERVE.
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