By: Katherine Holmes
Picture this: you’re 16. You’re at the mall with your friends. You’re in the Sears (which is on it’s deathbed). The only thing this Sears is selling is birthday cards. You and the besties NEED to buy some. Then tragedy occurs! Mom said no she won’t give you five bucks for a starbucks hot chocolate and a birthday card from Sears! What do you do?!? Fight back against the system obvi! Get a job at the local grocery store making minimum wage so that after the first week when you get your paycheck, you can go back to the mall with your friends. But oh no! Our second tragedy has occurred! Sears is closed FOREVER. Now you’ll never get your silly little birthday card AND you have to go to work in a couple hours. We’re living in a post-Sears world where you'll have to work for the rest of forever.
As somebody who works two jobs and goes to school, I can confirm that I don’t wish to work for the rest of my life! Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t always hate it, but I think that my life would be better if I wasn’t at the hands of capitalism! In an ideal world, I am married to my partner who is a major CEO of some company that makes oodles of money, and because I don’t have to work for money anymore, I can just work for fun. With this in mind, I have some requirements: 1. They must be generous with their money. I’m talking ALWAYS rounding up at the checkout counter. I’m trying to escape the capitalist pyramid here, but not date a monster! 2. They have to do the dishes and we will cook together. In return, I will graciously take over folding laundry and vacuuming. And 3. It must be true, unconditional love. Love beyond the money, but the money is defo a selling point.
Now I know what you’re thinking, “Why go to school for a degree if you don’t want to work, and just want to marry rich? Also not very girlboss of you!” I understand your question/comment, and I meet your question/comment with a clarification. I go to art school. The statistics are stacked against me, and there is most likely very little money for me at the end of this road. I go to school for the passion of what I am learning and the hopes that I don’t have to marry rich, I can be the rich! It’s not that I don’t want to work (I actually like working both jobs and passion projects), I just don’t want the economy of it all- market, command, or mixed. I miss the trade and barter system. I do my monologue for you, and in return, I get a basket of bread. Ideally in this scenario, I spend my days going to do my acting jobs, painting, crocheting, and anything else that I feel like doing at the time. While I may choose to sell some or all of my art, I won’t have to focus on the intense anxiety that is the paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle I’m sure we all know!
What does this all trickle down to? I am still a girlboss because I’m a girl on a hustle. It’s not that I don’t wish to work period, it’s that I wish to work without stress, and to destroy capitalism and the concept of economy as a whole. Let’s be real, as long as I’m not marrying the CEO of Sears (RIP Sears), life will be okay.
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