By: Emma Sikes
You know when you’re trying to bring up an interesting thing you heard from Tik Tok, but you don’t wanna sound like an idiot-baby so instead you say you found this interesting thing from an ARTICLE you were reading? Well… I was reading an article where these people were doing a challenge to see if they could pick-out the AI response out of a bunch of human responses to questions. It asked all the participants their strategy going into the game, and when it got to the AI, it creepily replied that it was planning on making little mistakes to mimic human behavior. Answering late, mis-using commas, and using improper grammar. How mother-fucking scary is that? It's adapting to how stupid we all are to blend in with us. That sends straight up chills down my spine, I’m now convinced it's not a question of IF the real life M3GAN will decimate half our population, but when.
You might be thinking “Emma you can barely operate a microwave, you should be excited about technology improving, it could make your life easier”. To you I’d say number one, my technology knowledge has grown, I can now split my screen, so HA. Secondly, my life is already so very easy, and if it happens to get any easier it would enable me to be lazier than I already am. Not to say that lazy people use AI, I’m sure they have perfectly good reasons to use it. Maybe you’re sending an email to your coworkers, and you don’t know how to use professional jargon, ChatGPT can take care of that task for you. What is ChatGPT you ask? I’ll tell you, it’s an AI chatbot that was released originally in November of 2022, but was revamped a little over a month ago. It claims to interact in a conversational way, it can answer follow-up questions, admit its mistakes, challenge incorrect premises, and reject inappropriate requests. Its future plans include to refine and expand itself based on feedback from its users and to break into homes of non-users in the dead of night and install it anyway. As well as placing chips into animals so they can slowly meld into their true form, robot animals. I’m obviously joking, AI could exponentially improve people's lives, I assume. The only examples that I’ve seen are with mundane tasks that nobody wants to do, but if we’re not doing those are we even human? What is the human condition if not to complain about mundane tasks we have to complete. How our weather app said it was going to be colder than it actually is so you totally could’ve been showing off your legs in your new skirt, but instead you're sweating in your jeans. Or how your maps app took you to the wrong McDonalds, and how on THEIR website they claimed that their ice cream machine is NEVER broken, you get there, and it obviously is. Boom, you’ve got a short and sweet water cooler conversation starter. For the younger readers, that joke references a time, long ago, when jobs were in-person and when you took your break, you met your coworkers at the watercooler and talked about how your weekend wasn’t long enough.
Also the whole trend of content creators using AI software to write sketches or captions for their instagrams, I don't know it just feels anti-union, anti-writers, anti-writers strike. Which also reminds me that one day AI may take our jobs away. Though I haven’t seen a joke written by an AI that didn’t make me want to pluck my eyeballs out, one day, they’re gonna get it. Those rat-bastard robots are going to combine just the right amount of dick, balls, and poop humor to tickle our funny bones. That’s when we need to worry, they get us laughing and before we know it we’ll be petting our metal puppies and drinking our morning nuts and bolts instead of coffee. We’ll have silly t-shirts being sold on Amazon that read “Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my nuts and bolts”. I’m not gonna lie, I'd buy that shirt, and I know at least 10 people who would too. So maybe we’re no better than those non sentient bots, or maybe the bot was inside us all along. *Peels back skin to reveal wires and buttons Beep, Boop.
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