By: Maggie Grazioso
It’s that time of year again! That’s right, it’s Pisces season! It’s birthday time for those loving-cry babies, who put WAY too high of an expectation on their birthday festivities. If you’re planning a birthday event for your Pisces friend, DO NOT be offended if they end up crying on their big day. It has nothing to do with you, or what you planned; all it is is the mere inevitability of getting closer and closer to death. Or they’re crying over all the thought you put into their party. They love anyone who tries. In case you can’t tell, I am a Pisces and my 21st birthday is coming up. WOOT WOOT! In honor of the season, I’m going to walk you guys through a Pisces’s DREAM 21st birthday in Savannah. Buckle up.
For starters, if your Pisces was born in the morning, be ready to be up at the crack of dawn. You should be up before them, next to their bed with a big ol’ shot of vodka, ready for them to consume. Maybe stick a lit candle in there to make things interesting! Next, obviously, we need to take a trip downtown to Little Duck Diner and get one (or five) mimosas. In case you guys haven’t been to this ADORBS breakfast place, if you order their classic mimosa or peach bellini, the drink is accompanied with a little rubber ducky floating in the glass. And after three, or four (or five) glasses, your Pisces is gonna get really excited about all their new friends they’ve acquired.
Naturally, the next stop would be City Market. Now, if your Pisces wasn’t a struggling college student with a part-time job (I don’t know if you guys can tell, but this article is literally all about me), they definitely would enjoy a nice Pedal Pub ride with all their besties. Sippin’ on margs and blasting the Mamma Mia soundtrack through the streets of Savannah, what would be better? But, alas, they are expensive. So instead, you’ll stand on a street corner, waving at all the “WOO!” girls pedaling by. But, while we are in City Market, let’s take a stop at Wet Willies. For all my underage kiddos out there, do NOT, and I repeat do NOT, go to Wet Willies with a fake ID. They will cut it up in front of your face. I’m not even kidding. Like, are alcoholic slushies worth the drama? I’ll let you know on March 7th!
All of you would assume the next destination on this journey would be River Street, but I work there. I don’t really wanna associate my corporate job with my damn 21st F-ING BIRTHDAY!!! Also, River Street? In my white gogo boots? That are already falling apart? Death. Wish. So, instead, let’s head on over to get some Java Burrito! In my opinion, Mexican food is the BEST thing to eat on a night out. It fills you up and it gives you a lot of material to puke up in the morning. Win, Win! Not to mention they have margs!
Most Pisces aren’t really the bar hopping type, especially after spending the entire day getting drunk, so they just wanna do one or two bars. The first one, since we’re in the area, is Rogue. I think if a Pisces doesn’t sing at least three Lady Gaga songs at a karaoke club, then the whole day is wasted! After singing “You and I” three times (because it’s the only song they (I) sound good on), it’s time to head to ol’ reliable. You guessed it, Moodrights. Moodrights is a great way to end a night. Chill vibe and delicious fries and lemon pepper wings. What’s better than that? Oh right, playing Battleship drunk as FUCK!!! And if we know Pisces, they will definitely be losing. But that’s okay, because they had a fabulous day and love their super awesome friends (shout out to the baes, you know who you are).
If you follow this step by step guide, you are guaranteed to give a Pisces (or Maggie Grazioso) the best night of their (her) life.
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