By: Emma Kennedy
What better singer to express the pent up teenage girlhood angst that inevitably bleeds into my early 20s than Rivers Cuomo? Seriously, Weezer’s music, especially in the 90s during Cuomo’s mentally-spiraling-at-Harvard-era, is so chock full of anger, yearning and disillusionment that it somehow acted as a cure for my girlfail blues. I guess one man’s blue balls is another girl’s pent-up frustration…let’s dig into some of those songs, shall we?
First off, let’s cover my favorite Weezer song to cry to (what a sentence). Its title alone, The World has Turned and Left Me Here, sums up the feeling of isolation and dread that comes with being suddenly dropped into a void of post-heartbreak confusion. Being a girl can feel so dramatic, even in times where it might make sense to feel all those big feelings. Maybe that’s just me, mistaking my sadness for melodrama, but I’ve found myself thinking and doing the corniest of things during times of trouble – which makes me appreciate the way the lyrics go from actually depressing to just pathetic enough to roll your eyes. No, unlike Rivers, I’ve never actually spoken to someone’s wallet photograph (the picture of my rockstar crush Sebastian Bach in my wallet has nothing to do with heartbreak, he’s just hot). But the song is relatable nonetheless. Sadness can turn us into cornballs, and hormones make us victim to ridiculous fantasies, like this one sung by Cuomo: “You laughed enchanted by intellect…or maybe you didn't.” I was shocked at No Other One when I first heard it, because I knew all the damn memes about Pinkerton and how it's an incel album and blah blah blah. I didn’t expect to see a chunk of the album’s tracklist and think “this is just like me for real,” but life is full of surprises. No Other One tells the tale of a desperate relationship hanging on by a thread, a thread made up of convenience and refusal to be alone. 17 year old me was in that position for a long time, and quite honestly I’d rather go on one more date with the Car Seat Headrest gatekeeper I went out with for a whopping two weeks than experience that again. The song is much like that failed long term relationship I think about whenever I listen to it: it’s whiny and drags on. Glad that’s over. Phew. Don’t date in your teens, guys.
I can’t imagine interpreting Undone - The Sweater Song as anything but a neurodivergent anthem. Being AFAB and queer and neurodivergent (pick a struggle Emma!) can sometimes feel isolating (and the sky is blue). It can feel as awkward and uncomfortable as the song’s iconic, tense guitar riff that gets woven into small talk before the verses. On top of the dry small talk, the verses themselves are short and sweet and sporadic. They do a good job of depicting how I feel when I try to talk to someone new but my ADHD has other plans and my oh-so-complex thoughts come out as stuttering nonsense. To do that as a female presenting person is a huge blow to the interpretation of my intelligence, so the explosion of anger in the chorus just makes sense. “I think, I sink, and I die.” I need that as a tramp stamp or something. Sheesh.
Ah, Why Bother? You are the salt in my wound. Remember that thing I said about being a girl and feeling dramatic? Well, this tune accurately depicts the frustration I have directed towards a flaccid love life, at the ripe age of 20. I know I’m young, and that there’s time, but, for the love of Rivers Cuomo, I really did date a Car Seat Headrest gatekeeper. The great thing about the song is that it makes me feel okay about feeling dramatic. It’s fresh anger. It sums up that sensation of going into something with low expectations after more than enough let downs to convince yourself that the world’s against you. I think I always sought out some sort of validation for my reaction to heartbreak. It's easy for girls to convince themselves that heartbreak has got to be put together and cute, with the pint of ice cream and smeared mascara in the tub, but it doesn't have to be put together or cute. It’s hot-off-the-press catastrophizing, it’s screaming, it’s all there in Why Bother? “It's a crying shame, I'm all alone, not with you, nor her, nor anyone. Won't you knock me on my head? Crack it open, let me outta here!” As a girl that’s been expected to keep my heartache-ridden laments bottled up, holy toledo! I’m convinced Rivers is just one of the girls.
In the end, it’s not just Weezer that can be put into a new perspective with the lens of female rage, but almost any angry song can connect to the trials and tribulations of girlhood if you want. Ladies, this is our call to action: it’s time to reclaim incel music as ours. It all starts with Weezer. Or…maybe it’s just me convincing myself it’s not embarrassing to relate to Pinkerton.
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